Introspection. Feh.

[aquabean]

From an email conversation with someone who might actually recognize it when they see it. Cleaning out my inbox and it was discovered... sometimes I say these things that are applicable in so many ways, to so many things.


At some point along the line we decided that even friendship is inherently selfish. There are those who feel that people take part in relationships because we care about them when really, you and I feel that we do it because we want them to care about us.

This isn't to say we don't care. We do. It's simply that often times our ability -- desire? -- to care is directly proportional to the amount we perceive others care for us. Because we admit we're unsure of our relationship to the rest of the world, to the people around us, we then view all attention directed our way, with inherent suspicion. We don't trust our own feelings for others, we certainly can't trust their feelings for us.

Comments

[snowyheart.livejournal.com]

Mmmn--I feel the same as wordsofastory, up there. Friendship at its core, to me, is an exchange, where you and the other person make an unspoken agreement to just plain care about each other. I don't feel as if there's anything wrong with that, at all--nor that there's anything wrong with the idea that the ability/desire to care has to do with the care we get. IMHO, feeling that way is more of a sign of healthy self-respect than selfishness, really. Caring with nothing or very little in return sounds like a beautiful thing, but it really... simply hurts far too much to sustain.

An inherent distrust of attention and feelings... unfortunately, sometimes is necessary. True and worthwhile feelings from others, I think, have the stamina to outlast our own suspicions.

♥ I hope you're doing all right-- *hugs*

[nightfallrising.livejournal.com]

IMHO, feeling that way is more of a sign of healthy self-respect than selfishness, really. Caring with nothing or very little in return sounds like a beautiful thing, but it really... simply hurts far too much to sustain.

Seconded. Not healthy at all.

[nightfallrising.livejournal.com]

Likewise, when you come out of every interaction with someone feeling like you're not worth their time, it's probably time to take your investment in your relationship with them a step back.

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

True. One has to wonder at how long it takes sometimes, this realizing that things aren't even.

It's the going into everything like it's already uneven that I've realized bothers me most.

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

It's the weight of the exchange that I question. How much a person can ask for in any given moment, because what if what's being asked isn't equivalent? Knowing that often times I want more or different things than what I'm getting makes me wonder what everyone else around me really wants.

*hugs* And I'm good. *smiles* Just, you know, being all introspective and philosophical.