FMA oneshot - "Espresso"
May. 12th, 2005 12:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aquabeanTitle: Espresso
Author: Rune
Notes: Beta’d by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ranalore. Written for all the people who said, "Do something happy some time!" (Also, please note that it's long! Or well, long-ish. Which, Woot!)
Summary:The most stimulating things come in small doses.
"What's this?"
"It's coffee, you shit." Ed glared for a moment before dropping down on the couch in front of the new Fuhrer's desk. "What? You burn off your sense of smell with those little sparks of yours?"
"Quite the contrary, Fullmetal." Roy removed the lid from the paper cup on his desk, the steam making him blink when he leaned in too close. "It simply seems rather outside the norm for you to bring me anything as mundane as coffee."
Ed snorted into his own cup.
Roy's smirk would only have been noteworthy had it been absent. "Should I insist you taste it first? A talented young alchemist like yourself, eager to rise in the ranks during this time of political upheaval and unrest--"
"Because you've never had anything to do with any 'upheaval and unrest' at all, right, Fuhrer?" Sarcasm, every bit as strong as the coffee in Ed's hand, only made Roy quirk one eyebrow, coffee still resolutely untasted.
"Oh for--I bought it for Al. Didn't realize he'd never tried it before." Grin furious and sudden, Ed hid it against the edge of the warm cardboard. "Anyway," he composed himself, but his eyes still sparkled, unrepentantly gleeful, "guess he didn't really like it and I had to give it to someone. Bastard."
The insult an afterthought, tacked on more out of habit than any actual animosity, was just affectionate enough to force Roy to bury an answering smile in his own drink.
"It's probably just as well that he didn't."
"What's that supposed to mean?
"Well, it is said that drinking coffee at a young age will stunt a person's growth."
"Wh-you!" Sputtering, Ed jerked to his feet, only to stop at the unexpected sting of scalding coffee sloshing across his hand. "Ow!"
"Though, in your case," and Roy's eyes darkened as he watched his companion suck on the now tender skin between thumb and first finger, "I don't know that it would have had much effect one way or the other."
The murderous intent of Ed's glare, mitigated by the hand still pressed against his mouth, would normally have been enough for Roy. But it wasn't every day that Edward brought him coffee and he was loath to let such an auspicious occasion go uncelebrated.
"They say that it's the caffeine--affects a body the same way alcohol does. The smaller the body mass of the individual the less caffeine it takes to...." A judicious pause. "Overstimulate them."
"Who you callin' a tiny super-hyper coffee bean?" Incensed, Ed narrowed his eyes further, but remained where he stood, the still steaming coffee acting as a kind of restraint.
"I said nothing of the kind, simply shared some of current science's more interesting findings."
"Yeah, well, current science finds that you're a total bastard."
"I have yet to see to see the research to support that particular claim, Fullmetal."
"Pfft." Ed rolled his eyes and sank onto the couch again. "The only reason I'm not doing it is because you'd make me write a report on it."
Roy tried to maintain an expression of aloof amusement as his voice took on a lecturing tone. "Proper scientific method dictates that all research should be accurately documented." The mask cracked a bit, though he didn't go quite so far as to actually smile. "No matter the unorthodox nature of the field of study."
"Let me take the coffee out of my research budget and we'll call this the first part of my study." Ed pulled his notebook from an innner coat pocket and began to write, enunciating clearly as he put down each word. "May Tenth. Took the subject coffee. Was mocked and then assigned additional unnecessary work. Original hypothesis still supported by current data. Subject is a total bastard."
Roy laughed in spite of himself, drawing a darkly amused smile from Ed.
"Ah, but this is just one day's research. Definitive conclusions can hardly be drawn after such a short time and," Roy tapped the side if his cup with one finger, "such a limited number of variables."
In the middle of putting away his notebook, Ed paused and, from Roy's vantage point, it looked rather like he was trying to decipher a particularly complicated array. Ed chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment before his mouth drew down in an incredulous frown.
"So, what? Like add cookies next time?"
"Something like that might be an option, yes, though some might suggest that to conduct a truly objective study, the subject should be seen in something closest to their natural environment."
"Heh. So then a bar, right?"
"Hardly." Though Ed was no longer frowning, and looked, if anything, openly amused, Roy still felt some small sense of apprehension. Was he really going to.... "I would suggest something more along the lines of an actual meal. Dinner, perhaps."
Apparently he was.
Ed managed a kind of full body stutter, his arm jerking and nearly upending his cup in his lap. He stared, slack-jawed for a moment, but when Roy made no further comment he closed his mouth with a snap before putting his free hand to his forehead and shoving his bangs away from his face.
"Waitwaitwait -- you want me to take you out to dinner?"
"I was merely offering research advi--"
"Why should I have to take you?" Ed had apparently gone full circle, from gob-smacked to furious, and mentally Roy winced.
"Ah, but it's your research, Fullmetal." Roy spared one small thought of thanks for the mouth his body was apparently willing to engage even before his brain had gotten past its moment of sickening dread.
"No. You're just too cheap to pay for your own date."
Roy's grin grew roughly in proportion with Ed's blush.
"Ah. And here I was giving you such a research opportunity. But if you insist that it's a date, I suppose I should be willing to foot the bill." Trailing off Roy kept his own glee in check by biting down on the right side of his tongue.
"No! I-I didn't mean--" Ed blinked several times and finally, cheeks still bright red, managed to bring himself to ask, his voice equal parts hope and horror, "Are you serious?"
"I'm not sure that I'm entirely flattered by your tone." And previously Roy had thought Ed couldn't possibly blush any brighter."But yes. If you'd like me to be."
It seemed unreasonable to be so glad of the coffee Edward had provided earlier if only because it gave him something to busy his hands with. Situations like this left him with the nearly overwhelming urge to snap.
Ed seemed to feel the same because he was slowly crushing the paper cup in his flesh hand, its automail counterpart holding his knee rather firmly. When he spoke, though, he sounded sure, almost to the point of defiance. "I'm not paying."
"I didn't say you had to.".
"I--fine."
"I'll expect you tomorrow then?"
"You're still a bastard, you know that, right?"
"I suspected as much, yes."
"... Fine. I'll be here at six." Head cocked to one side, Ed scowled at Roy for a moment through a fringe of hair. "And you better be done with all your stupid paperwork. I'm not just going to wait around forever."
"Of course."
"All right. Fine." Pushing himself up from his seat, Ed always managed to make the act look as though he'd just won an epic battle against gravity. Watching the way he rolled the shoulder where flesh met automail, Roy wondered if maybe he hadn't. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Barely waiting for Roy's nod, Ed made his way across the room, stopping only to drop his now mutilated and nearly empty coffee cup in a wastebasket by the door. His hand was on the knob when Roy spoke.
"And Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for the coffee."
"Sure." It was a grin that showed a rather alarming amount of teeth, but it was real. "Bastard."
Taking a sip of his now lukewarm coffee, Roy smirked. So Ed thought he was a bastard; Ed’d still said yes. He was a bastard with a date.
Author: Rune
Notes: Beta’d by
ranalore. Written for all the people who said, "Do something happy some time!" (Also, please note that it's long! Or well, long-ish. Which, Woot!)Summary:The most stimulating things come in small doses.
"What's this?"
"It's coffee, you shit." Ed glared for a moment before dropping down on the couch in front of the new Fuhrer's desk. "What? You burn off your sense of smell with those little sparks of yours?"
"Quite the contrary, Fullmetal." Roy removed the lid from the paper cup on his desk, the steam making him blink when he leaned in too close. "It simply seems rather outside the norm for you to bring me anything as mundane as coffee."
Ed snorted into his own cup.
Roy's smirk would only have been noteworthy had it been absent. "Should I insist you taste it first? A talented young alchemist like yourself, eager to rise in the ranks during this time of political upheaval and unrest--"
"Because you've never had anything to do with any 'upheaval and unrest' at all, right, Fuhrer?" Sarcasm, every bit as strong as the coffee in Ed's hand, only made Roy quirk one eyebrow, coffee still resolutely untasted.
"Oh for--I bought it for Al. Didn't realize he'd never tried it before." Grin furious and sudden, Ed hid it against the edge of the warm cardboard. "Anyway," he composed himself, but his eyes still sparkled, unrepentantly gleeful, "guess he didn't really like it and I had to give it to someone. Bastard."
The insult an afterthought, tacked on more out of habit than any actual animosity, was just affectionate enough to force Roy to bury an answering smile in his own drink.
"It's probably just as well that he didn't."
"What's that supposed to mean?
"Well, it is said that drinking coffee at a young age will stunt a person's growth."
"Wh-you!" Sputtering, Ed jerked to his feet, only to stop at the unexpected sting of scalding coffee sloshing across his hand. "Ow!"
"Though, in your case," and Roy's eyes darkened as he watched his companion suck on the now tender skin between thumb and first finger, "I don't know that it would have had much effect one way or the other."
The murderous intent of Ed's glare, mitigated by the hand still pressed against his mouth, would normally have been enough for Roy. But it wasn't every day that Edward brought him coffee and he was loath to let such an auspicious occasion go uncelebrated.
"They say that it's the caffeine--affects a body the same way alcohol does. The smaller the body mass of the individual the less caffeine it takes to...." A judicious pause. "Overstimulate them."
"Who you callin' a tiny super-hyper coffee bean?" Incensed, Ed narrowed his eyes further, but remained where he stood, the still steaming coffee acting as a kind of restraint.
"I said nothing of the kind, simply shared some of current science's more interesting findings."
"Yeah, well, current science finds that you're a total bastard."
"I have yet to see to see the research to support that particular claim, Fullmetal."
"Pfft." Ed rolled his eyes and sank onto the couch again. "The only reason I'm not doing it is because you'd make me write a report on it."
Roy tried to maintain an expression of aloof amusement as his voice took on a lecturing tone. "Proper scientific method dictates that all research should be accurately documented." The mask cracked a bit, though he didn't go quite so far as to actually smile. "No matter the unorthodox nature of the field of study."
"Let me take the coffee out of my research budget and we'll call this the first part of my study." Ed pulled his notebook from an innner coat pocket and began to write, enunciating clearly as he put down each word. "May Tenth. Took the subject coffee. Was mocked and then assigned additional unnecessary work. Original hypothesis still supported by current data. Subject is a total bastard."
Roy laughed in spite of himself, drawing a darkly amused smile from Ed.
"Ah, but this is just one day's research. Definitive conclusions can hardly be drawn after such a short time and," Roy tapped the side if his cup with one finger, "such a limited number of variables."
In the middle of putting away his notebook, Ed paused and, from Roy's vantage point, it looked rather like he was trying to decipher a particularly complicated array. Ed chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment before his mouth drew down in an incredulous frown.
"So, what? Like add cookies next time?"
"Something like that might be an option, yes, though some might suggest that to conduct a truly objective study, the subject should be seen in something closest to their natural environment."
"Heh. So then a bar, right?"
"Hardly." Though Ed was no longer frowning, and looked, if anything, openly amused, Roy still felt some small sense of apprehension. Was he really going to.... "I would suggest something more along the lines of an actual meal. Dinner, perhaps."
Apparently he was.
Ed managed a kind of full body stutter, his arm jerking and nearly upending his cup in his lap. He stared, slack-jawed for a moment, but when Roy made no further comment he closed his mouth with a snap before putting his free hand to his forehead and shoving his bangs away from his face.
"Waitwaitwait -- you want me to take you out to dinner?"
"I was merely offering research advi--"
"Why should I have to take you?" Ed had apparently gone full circle, from gob-smacked to furious, and mentally Roy winced.
"Ah, but it's your research, Fullmetal." Roy spared one small thought of thanks for the mouth his body was apparently willing to engage even before his brain had gotten past its moment of sickening dread.
"No. You're just too cheap to pay for your own date."
Roy's grin grew roughly in proportion with Ed's blush.
"Ah. And here I was giving you such a research opportunity. But if you insist that it's a date, I suppose I should be willing to foot the bill." Trailing off Roy kept his own glee in check by biting down on the right side of his tongue.
"No! I-I didn't mean--" Ed blinked several times and finally, cheeks still bright red, managed to bring himself to ask, his voice equal parts hope and horror, "Are you serious?"
"I'm not sure that I'm entirely flattered by your tone." And previously Roy had thought Ed couldn't possibly blush any brighter."But yes. If you'd like me to be."
It seemed unreasonable to be so glad of the coffee Edward had provided earlier if only because it gave him something to busy his hands with. Situations like this left him with the nearly overwhelming urge to snap.
Ed seemed to feel the same because he was slowly crushing the paper cup in his flesh hand, its automail counterpart holding his knee rather firmly. When he spoke, though, he sounded sure, almost to the point of defiance. "I'm not paying."
"I didn't say you had to.".
"I--fine."
"I'll expect you tomorrow then?"
"You're still a bastard, you know that, right?"
"I suspected as much, yes."
"... Fine. I'll be here at six." Head cocked to one side, Ed scowled at Roy for a moment through a fringe of hair. "And you better be done with all your stupid paperwork. I'm not just going to wait around forever."
"Of course."
"All right. Fine." Pushing himself up from his seat, Ed always managed to make the act look as though he'd just won an epic battle against gravity. Watching the way he rolled the shoulder where flesh met automail, Roy wondered if maybe he hadn't. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Barely waiting for Roy's nod, Ed made his way across the room, stopping only to drop his now mutilated and nearly empty coffee cup in a wastebasket by the door. His hand was on the knob when Roy spoke.
"And Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for the coffee."
"Sure." It was a grin that showed a rather alarming amount of teeth, but it was real. "Bastard."
Taking a sip of his now lukewarm coffee, Roy smirked. So Ed thought he was a bastard; Ed’d still said yes. He was a bastard with a date.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 10:26 am (UTC)Situations like this left him with the nearly overwhelming urge to snap.
::DIES::
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 08:01 pm (UTC)Stoked that you liked it!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 08:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 12:33 pm (UTC)Though he shouldn't get full credit for this, Ed *did* sorta pile the opportunity into his lap...
But doesn't he always do that anyways? XDDDD
At any rate, *love* this. So cute! ^__^ I'm glad you wrote something happy.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 08:02 pm (UTC)..eheheh...Roy's lap. *is twelve* *snerks*
I just love these boys. They do it to each other -- such snark can only lead to love XD
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 03:10 pm (UTC)Aiiieee this is soooo cute!!!
"Who you callin' a tiny super-hyper coffee bean?" Incensed, Ed narrowed his eyes further, but remained where he stood, the still steaming coffee acting as a kind of restraint.
"I said nothing of the kind, simply shared some of current science's more interesting findings."
"Yeah, well, current science finds that you're a total bastard."
Awwww!!!! Tiny coffee bean is too adorable in his gruffiness. And I'm a total sucker for the scientist part of their personalities, so that was doubly pleasing. Thanks!! *tackleglomp*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 03:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 08:04 pm (UTC)*glomps* I'm stoked you liked it! Really, the "Yeah, well, current science finds that you're a total bastard." line is absolutely my favorite. Giggled so hard when I wrote it. *G*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 03:54 pm (UTC)The last line *killed* me. As if the rest hadn't. Hee. When you step back from the sad stuff you're quite the funny one. (Then again, I can't complain about anything from you 'cause it's good crying. No really.) And. Your Roy. So wins. XD
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 09:30 pm (UTC)...okay, so yeah, date night part two is on it's way. XD
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 03:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 09:31 pm (UTC)I do expect you to list off all kinds of other types of coffee then because I know nothing about any of it. My other thought was to just keep going with food titles. You know, like the next one? "On the Rocks." XD
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-14 10:21 pm (UTC)Though "On the Rocks" could be fun....
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 04:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 09:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 05:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 09:37 pm (UTC)I have to admit that writing something not quite so doomed is rather refreshing. Heh.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 05:25 pm (UTC)*adores*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-13 09:38 pm (UTC)...which leads me to imagining Roy trying to put a cat collar on Ed and... *falls out of office chair* Okay, I'm just going to go giggle myself sick now, kthnx XD
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-15 07:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-16 04:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-16 08:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-20 03:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-26 04:06 pm (UTC)*sporfles* Roy wins the date. You win the internet.
Am I sensing a food theme?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-26 04:38 pm (UTC)*grins* More fic at work! Whee!
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-07 03:06 pm (UTC)