What I can't figure out is how to work around it. I mean. I've got all these coping mechanisms that got me through college and most of life, but it seems that faking it isn't going to work as well in the job world and and and arugh.
Also, failure is terrifyingly comfortable. And really, it shouldn't be.
Well, speaking from experience - I've been fired from at least three jobs because I could not focus enough, long term, to actually get my work done properly. Now, I also screwed myself over on the most recent one, but this inability to settle, to focus, to be present - was part of it too.
I have been telling my therapist that I see myself split into sections - like there's this competent, happy, smiling woman out on stage, while backstage are all these stick figures, with no hands, trying to juggle their way past fear, anxiety, insecurity and terror, with a side order of flailing.
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Date: 2006-07-11 04:04 am (UTC)Also, failure is terrifyingly comfortable. And really, it shouldn't be.
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Date: 2006-07-11 04:23 am (UTC)I have been telling my therapist that I see myself split into sections - like there's this competent, happy, smiling woman out on stage, while backstage are all these stick figures, with no hands, trying to juggle their way past fear, anxiety, insecurity and terror, with a side order of flailing.