Saiyuki - oneshot

[aquabean]

A moment that's existed in my head for a while now and has finally been written in between data entry chunks.

Title: Static
Author: rune
Rating: R (for sexual content)
Pairing: Sanzo/Hakkai
Summary: Fear is a many splendored thing.


It was wrong. On so many levels, wrong.

Not his hands clenched in dark hair, no. Not the hot-warm-hot mouth and tongue. Not even the way his breath was rough, so fast it didn't mask the moans that escaped his throat. But it was there. The wrongness of it suffused everything. A hard black noise like rushing water that made him bite down on his lip to trap a name within his mouth.

Wrongwrongwrong, that blackness chanted even as white light filled his vision, even as that name was bitten back again, almost choked on.

It wasn't the taking. It wasn't that someone kneeled before him, leaving him in control. It wasn't even that he wanted it that way. But it was there. And now, as he felt his hands loosen, as the man in front of him stood and pressed their mouths together again, and he tasted something that could only be himself, it enveloped him.

Nownownow, and the sound of falling was too loud, the water rising much too fast.

He wasn't supposed to give back. He didn't want to offer up any part of himself. He no longer cared enough to desire the trust of others. But it was there, underneath the rest, like the herbs and tea that lingered on another person's tongue. And so he closed his eyes, pulled away and knelt. The weight of fingers tangled in his hair made his heart pound within his chest. A hand under his chin brought his head back up and the eyes that he looked into regarded him in wonder, not confusion; more like awe.

Right. In the silence, he closed his eyes and gave.

Comments

[snowyheart.livejournal.com]

omg. <3

So, tonight I was bored and looking through lj interests, saw some names I recognized, clicked here an' there... stumbled on fic!!

holy moly.

I don't normally care that much about most slash for some reason (possibly the only hot-blooded female who doesn't, eek) but... wow. wow. This is a huge exception--is so, so gorgeous, and I love it. (Plus, not enough people write Sanzo+Hakkai or even Sanzo/Hakkai..gyarr) It seemed very much in Sanzo's character, and beautiful language of course.

So.. er.. yes! Love ittt. *fangirly wail*

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

*bows* Thank you!

You know already that I love the way you write, so I'm pretty stoked that you like my stuff too. Heh. And, hey, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to bring you fully to the dark side of the 838 fandom *grins*


p.s. I've friended you...hope you don't mind... XD

[snowyheart.livejournal.com]

Whoa, c'mon now, I don't just 'like' your stuff, I love it! Moremoremore! And maybe I wouldn't be sad if there was more 838 also...

And aww, of course you can friend--I was gonna ask if I could friend you today, and so I shall!

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

*grins* Dude, 838 is my specialty. Though there is a 858 fic that's currently eating my brain...*shakes fist at Nightfall*

But, hey, I'm waiting for more from YOU!

[nightfallrising.livejournal.com]

Thhbt.
(laughs at incredibly ooc icon)

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

Dude, it's not fair! I have work to do! But nooooooo, Doku's just making fun of his brother, who's current plan seems to be to angst himself to death, and I don't even know where the hell Hakkai--oh. *facepalm* Damn it, Hakkai! Come back here! You know he's impossible when he gets like this! *grumbles* Excuse me while I go and track down my muse so I can get back to rewarding world of data entry.

[wildelamassu.livejournal.com]

I was here anyway, and *tackleglomp*...

Found you, O Miss-Glorious-Characterization!*friends you relentlessly*

[snowyheart.livejournal.com]

*squeee for the compliment and friending :3*

*slips a friending of you also in there, bwah ha ha*

[tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com]

Das ist ein...eine-- (flails as meager 10-yrs-unused German vocabulary runs dry) Lovely. It's lovely. Mmaaaahhh--

(slaps a little coherency back into brain)

The poetic language sticks out the most. It's freaking gorgeous. And it's just...again with the shrouded semi-vague little moment that says so *much* under the surface. Gaahh--guh.

So much for coherency. ^_^; My apologies...

Just...f*ck, y'know? To suss out what's going on inside Sanzo's head--I can hardly write the man to save my life. So I'm doubly in awe of those who *can* venture into that minefield and paint little portraits of what lingers there for those of us on the outside. Especially when it's a wounded, vulnerable sort of portrait rather than the prickly armor we'd usually expect.

(bows humbly, grateful) Thank you.

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Thank you.

And really, this piece has been writing itself out slowly in my head for days. Today though, something just clicked and...Well, there you have it. I didn't want to write porn (mostly because I don't know that I'd be any good), and this moment was so much more than just sex. Like this has happened a hundred times before, and always Sanzo just takes because he can't get past the wrongwrongwrong of wanting to give, until this time, when something snaps, something inside finally gives and it's just right.

I'm ridiculously pleased that you liked it. *bows*

p.s. I'm showing off my new icon!

[nightfallrising.livejournal.com]

(belatedly) Many splendid. Oh, of course! Nice.
Because nobody can detatch from nonattatchment like Sanzo. (happy sigh)

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

*Hakkai looks smug and Sanzo rolls his eyes* Yeah, pretty much.

[chaosd.livejournal.com]

*happily strangled noise* Right. (What a way to start the morning, whee!) The feeling of (un-)bendi-ness and breaki-ness is just there. Very personal, very centered. (Sigh.)

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

*grins and bows* Glad you like it, love.

It really is all about bending-something-very-brittle quality they both possess. It makes them rather hard to write sometimes. But then, sometimes, it just works. Or at least I think it does. *grins* Glad you agree this time.