Where I stick it to ya...

[aquabean]

A conversation in which Gonou's inexplicable need to go blind is explained:

(Originally conducted over email, it has been edited to help rune keep her job)

Rune: Random fic quote of the day:
My amethyst eyes always long to see you
Really, though? Who thinks about themself that way? I don't think about "my soft brown eyes gazing down on," whatever the fuck I'm gazing down on. And Sanzo? Think about his own eyes that way? PLEASE! Heh. I love bad!fic sometimes.
pvt_tiger: well, me personally, i didn't know his eyes were so amorously inclined. i hope they use protection.
rune: *snerk* You're so right. Pink eye is never any fun.
PT: no indeed.
rune: "pastel pink is the colour of evil."
PT: then is pink eye the VD of bad!fic?
rune: Bwahahahah! Then again, someone with emerald orbs instead of eyes probably isn't in any kind of real danger.
PT: yeah, i don't think stone or glass or whatever orbs are made of gets VD.
rune: I mean, it could be a bio-orb, but then you'd be dealing with a bad futuristic AU type fic. And man...we don't even want to know what kind of rash you could catch from one of those.
PT: yeah. would probably be some sort of flesh-eating space virus. and those do not respond to antibiotics, let me tell you.
rune: Now we know why Gonou ripped his eye out, though, don't we? Been in too many bad!fic, and his eye made a better weapon than anything else. *snerk*

* * * * *
Lots of stuff happens in my life. I just never have time to write about it until way too late.

In the last week...

Thursday: Got the Bear back from school -- Yeah, Texas, I'm messin' with ya.
Saturday: I made enough candy to keep Goku happy for a whole 20 minutes!
Saturday: Had my car radiator blow up.
Saturday: Skipped the company Christmas party.
Sunday: Went to Knotts Berry farm.
Monday: Came up with a new craft project.
Monday: Got PT back -- Neener, neener, Philly. You can keep your button!
Tuesday: Got a new radiator for the car.
Tuesday: Rented disk 3 of GetBackers. Have fallen in love with Ginji, Ban and Kazuki all over again. Guh. Watched Slayers too...hee!
Today: Getting Jem back -- Up yours, Florida, ya big wang.
Today: Finished packing up the candy to send out. Yeah, who rules now?
Tomorrow: Will mail candy packages (with the exception of the Kenyon kids. Sorry, loves. Your boxes are bigger and, so, are going out after the rush).
Tomorrow: Have a hair appointment at 3:30 -- new hair colour? Purple streaks. Rock on.
Tomorrow: Finally get to see Jem -- Yeah, Utah, you've got him for now, but your airport can't hold him forever.

I am now going to sit down and finish my secret santa fic. Shut up fic I can't seem to end! Or don't shut up, just end, damn it!

Comments

[tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com]

(sputtering over the bad!fic eye conversation)

Bless you. I needed the laugh.

And, for the record, I would give *anything* to make people stop calling eyes 'orbs'. For the love of *god*, people, *please*!

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

Another Hakkai specific visual issue? The way that bad!fic writers always refer to his eyes as, "his emeralds." Ummm...So now the poor boy's completely blind? Or do they mean he just carries a large number of precious jewels around with him all the time? *sighs* Obviously they skipped the day where metaphor was taught. "Eyes as green as emeralds." "Eyes that sparkled like emeralds." Am I asking for too much? Am I?

I mean, the other day, ran into a fic where, "emeralds and amethyst stared at each other, filled with passion." *snerks* Dude. Just. Dude.

[tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com]

(laughing) Ye gods, *yes*.

I understand that they're probably trying to be diverse in their word use and be creative and descriptive and poetic.

I would like to politely point out to them that there is a vast difference between good descriptive imagery and outright corniness. And granted there just aren't really any good alternate words for 'eye' (or 'kiss', for that matter, but that's a different issue); but that doesn't excuse the use of bad substitutions. It's a writer's challenge to make the scene or sentence work within the framework of the language, not to butcher the language to his or her needs. For the most part.

Some bad!fic I can attribute to writers with limited experience who are just beginning to stretch their wings. I mean, crap, the other day I ran across a piece I wrote back in highschool that just made me cringe. Not that I'm like perfect now or anything; I've still got tons of room for improvement and everyone can always grow more. But I can see a definitive difference from where I *used* to be. So maybe in ten years the writers spewing bad!fic now will have developed into talented authors in their own right. Who can say? We can hope.

But I don't necessarily want to suffer through their growing pains, either. Y'know? Heh. ^_^

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

Well, those writers still growing into their use of language I'd be more willing to excuse if it weren't for the reviews they get.

"OMG htat is SO great! I love when they make out. plEAse rite more!!! Ur riting is os HOT!!!"

I know criticism isn't always fun, but it's needed. Damn it, that's why beta's exist, isn't? *laughs* Then again, I just throw crap out there and hope you guys 'll call me on stuff, so I don't know that I'm much better.

[tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com]

"OMG htat is SO great! I love when they make out. plEAse rite more!!! Ur riting is os HOT!!!"

Aye. (rolls eyes and clutches head) Nevermind the fact that shorthand of that sort sets my teeth on edge as it is.

It hurts to see crap lauded as brilliant.

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

What I don't get is how people actually think it's short hand at all. Spelling words wrong (and as someone who is a terrible speller, I feel I have a right to be snobby based on the fact that I feel bad when I get things wrong. Not like I'm 'cool' or some crap.) doesn't save time, or make things more interesting. How hard is it to add the two extra letters that actually spell out the word "you"? Or numbers. For the love of God, just write out "to" and don't use "2." That one extra key stroke isn't going to kill you, do do it!

*sighs* I like grammar and don't know what it ever did to earn this kind of animosity. *pets grammar* There, there. It'll be okay. A few of us still love you.

[tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com]

Amen. I mean, if a body is text-messaging on a cell phone, I can understand dropping keystrokes because that itty-bitty keypad can be a pain and the screen is so small blah blah blah. Still tends to incite the eye-rolling, but I can at least see a little bit of the logic. But...dude, when you've got the convenience of a full keyboard? Use it. Please. There's just no excuse.

(joins you in cuddling poor abused grammar)

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

So, dude, would you ever buy a shirt that said, "What did grammar ever do to you?"

*ponders* Catchy and smart is harder to come up with than you'd think...

[tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com]

(snickers) I'd at least consider it...

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

I figure our line of clothing has to have at least one funny grammar or punctuation related shirt. Just think, a whole army of Grammar Nazis sporting our gear. *wipes tears from eyes* So. Beautiful.

[nightfallrising.livejournal.com]

Am I asking for too much? Am I?

You really are, you know. No, really. (is terribly amused)

Although I have admit, I have a hideous weakness for this one fic on aff.net where the Hakkai conscious is collectively referred to as Emerald and the Gojyo collective is Crimson. So you have emerald and crimson diving into each other all the time.

Rambling on, my main muse does this projective empathy thing where he carves a piece of wood, and when you pick it up you feel whatever he wants you to. Later, he expands to rocks, so 'passion-filled amethyst' isn't too much of a stretch. (ducks)

[runefallstar.livejournal.com]

*Hakkai muse looks at rune. Turns and looks at Sanzo muse.*

Umm...Night, love, you might wanna...

*Hakkai tosses a rather large and sharp looking emerald, from one hand to another. Sanzo just smiles*

Dude, now you definitely wanna get out of--Guys! Come on, she didn't mean--OW! What did I do?

*Hakkai smiles too*

Take it back, for the love of God, take it back!!


Um...yeah. I admit that I've got a few bad!fic I just adore. Mostly in the O.C. fandom, but I feel ya. Just don't mention it around the boys again. You know, for your own safety.

[nightfallrising.livejournal.com]

That's okay--Hakkai will shatter his monocle if he tries to use his emeralds as projectiles, and gold plate trumps amethysts at speed every time. ^.~