Let me not to the sharing of true cheese
admit impediments. Crack is not crack
which withdraws when it canon logic sees
or bends with the wanker to bitchsmack.
O no! It is an ever-smokin' pipe
that looks on wankfests and is never unstoned;
It is the whore for fans of every stripe
to pimp a lot, being by our fandoms pwned.
Crack's not fan's tool, though glazed eyes and brain
to a fan's slack-mouthed pale-faced visage keep:
crack relents not to her maddened wild pain,
but digs in her psyche and sinks its claws deep.
If this be evil, and upon me blamed
my work is done, and you my minion claimed.