Shut up Kevin.
Feb. 7th, 2005 03:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aquabeanAn email conversation in which ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pvt_tiger and I debate the relative merits of the names of my future cats.
Me: *talking about two kittens I found on a rescue site* They're little enough so that renaming them wouldn't wig you out too much, right?
PT: I suppose. But I like them as Walter and Oliver. They're cute-nerdy-boy names!
Me: I just don't like the name Oliver. But also, I was thinking of taking one of the little grey girl kittens from the other batch. They all have such big blue eyes.
PT: Oliver is nowhere near as offensive a name as Kevin. God, I hate that name.
Me: Hee. Also, I would never name anything that. Except maybe a slug. 'Cause having a pet slug named Kevin would just be awesome.
PT: Okay, that may be the only instance where that name is permissible. Heh. A banana slug named Kevin....
Me: *griiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins* Oh yeah. Oh. Yeah.
PT: I was also going to suggest a turtle named Kevin, but he would just be bitchy.
Me: Yeah, he'd be a biter. And you'd have to keep him in his own tank because he'd be mean to the other animals. Even if they were just fish. He'd eat 'em.
PT: Exactly. He'd also be the sort to disappear to crap unseen in the back of the cupboard under the sink if you ever let him out. And you'd find it like a month later after enduring an wretched, unknown stench all the while.
Me: But just getting him out of there in the first place would be an ordeal to begin with. He'd move really fast for a turtle and instead of pulling back into his shell he'd snap at you and then you'd need a band aide, which of course, you'd be out of. This would mean a trip to the store allowing him valuable, "crap behind the old container of Comet," time.
PT: Kevin's such a dirty bastard.
pvt_tiger and I debate the relative merits of the names of my future cats.Me: *talking about two kittens I found on a rescue site* They're little enough so that renaming them wouldn't wig you out too much, right?
PT: I suppose. But I like them as Walter and Oliver. They're cute-nerdy-boy names!
Me: I just don't like the name Oliver. But also, I was thinking of taking one of the little grey girl kittens from the other batch. They all have such big blue eyes.
PT: Oliver is nowhere near as offensive a name as Kevin. God, I hate that name.
Me: Hee. Also, I would never name anything that. Except maybe a slug. 'Cause having a pet slug named Kevin would just be awesome.
PT: Okay, that may be the only instance where that name is permissible. Heh. A banana slug named Kevin....
Me: *griiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins* Oh yeah. Oh. Yeah.
PT: I was also going to suggest a turtle named Kevin, but he would just be bitchy.
Me: Yeah, he'd be a biter. And you'd have to keep him in his own tank because he'd be mean to the other animals. Even if they were just fish. He'd eat 'em.
PT: Exactly. He'd also be the sort to disappear to crap unseen in the back of the cupboard under the sink if you ever let him out. And you'd find it like a month later after enduring an wretched, unknown stench all the while.
Me: But just getting him out of there in the first place would be an ordeal to begin with. He'd move really fast for a turtle and instead of pulling back into his shell he'd snap at you and then you'd need a band aide, which of course, you'd be out of. This would mean a trip to the store allowing him valuable, "crap behind the old container of Comet," time.
PT: Kevin's such a dirty bastard.
