The question of youth is a tricky one, I have to admit. The first time my husband suggested that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, I kissed him quiet before he could say it, and then informed him that until he'd lived life on his own for one year post-graduation, I could not consider such things. In my case, it was just because I'm a little older, had lived a lot more, and didn't want the Iowa farm boy to come to me without first getting a taste of the world. It was a bit selfish of me, since he knew even then what he wanted, but I needed that reassurance that he was choosing me rather than just taking one of the few options fate had provided at that point.
It worked out. It was difficult. He spent his year about 2400 miles away from me, and that truly sucked. But it was a step I had to have in order to feel comfortable, because some events in life do change a person (getting through high school or college or not, living independently or not, etc.), and it is important to allow those changes.
That was just my experience, of course, and I tend to be cautious to a fault. In your case, things are certainly different, what with the added pressured of societal and familial discomfort on the issue of sexual orientation, but I tend to think that those things are less important than just being really sure you want each other.
There is plenty of time to reach certainty - long engagements are a very good thing. In the meantime, you love her, she loves you, and there's no better feeling in the universe than being truly in love. Enjoy it!
and post a picture of the rings? *laughs* Sorry, I'm sentimental and curious like that, and your photography is good.
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Date: 2006-04-19 06:13 pm (UTC)It worked out. It was difficult. He spent his year about 2400 miles away from me, and that truly sucked. But it was a step I had to have in order to feel comfortable, because some events in life do change a person (getting through high school or college or not, living independently or not, etc.), and it is important to allow those changes.
That was just my experience, of course, and I tend to be cautious to a fault. In your case, things are certainly different, what with the added pressured of societal and familial discomfort on the issue of sexual orientation, but I tend to think that those things are less important than just being really sure you want each other.
There is plenty of time to reach certainty - long engagements are a very good thing. In the meantime, you love her, she loves you, and there's no better feeling in the universe than being truly in love. Enjoy it!
and post a picture of the rings? *laughs* Sorry, I'm sentimental and curious like that, and your photography is good.